


Of Love and Lies

by theboardwalkbody



Category: Across the Universe - Beth Revis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3970141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theboardwalkbody/pseuds/theboardwalkbody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elodie enjoyed her simple life as the Recorder of Godspeed, but everything changed the night she saw Elder running from the Hospital and decided to follow him only to watch him disappear into the wall of the ship. From that moment on nothing was going to be simple ever again. (title may be a WIP)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Walls That Aren't Walls

She knew him, everyone knew him - Elder - the future leader of the ship, so when she saw him running from the Hospital one night after the solar lamp clicked off she thought it was a little strange. Typically when she saw him he was dignified, mature, even if he was ten years younger. Here everyone was the same age - if were part of the Generation you were 25 - but Elder, being born between the seasons so he could be trained to be leader, was 17 and Eldest, the current leader, was 37. It was simple this way, she had thought, unlike what she'd seen in vids of Sol Earth - people were never the same age there and she thought that would be quite confusing. 

Elodie never really questioned much, she enjoyed simple things: waking up with the light of the solar lamp in the morning, spending her days among the books from previous gens and some that were left over from Sol Earth, walking around the garden outside and sometimes sticking her feet in the water of the lake, and finally ending the days looking out over the quite ship until the solar lamp clicked off for the night shrouding the ship in darkness except for a dull glow from the lamp which was supposed to mimic Sol Earth's moon's light and the distant lights from the City that lay across the fields. She knew she was different from the people in the city, she grew up in the Hospital, after all (they told her she was Loons) - the people in the City, though, were empty, she thought, it was like they never had their own thoughts or opinions on anything - but she did, she had concerns and questions and even hopes and dreams. It was just with no one to share these thoughts with she mostly kept them to herself, plus she was Loons anyway so who would listen to her? She had been given the job as Recorder several years ago when the old one was too old to continue. It was a solitary job, no one really bothered coming into the Hall. Most of the friends she'd had while growing up in the Hospital had all become shippers and they spent all their waking moments on the Shipper level and hardly stopped by to visit since they were so busy keeping the ship going. She didn't mind so much - it was simpler this way.

She stood, pushing herself up off the chair. She stepped forward to the deck rail and watched Elder run his way down the Hospital steps, take a hard left, and head towards the wall of the ship. He looked around frantically, casting nervous looks back over his shoulder towards the hospital. He hadn't seen her watching, what with her being too far away and up on a hill, he would have had to get very close to look up and see her, but he was running in the wrong direction. She was curious; why was he running, what was he running from, and where was he running to? There was nothing in that direction except a small stretch of field and then the wall. Curiosity getting the better of her she decided to follow the future leader of Godspeed and see if he was alright. She would simply catch up with him, ask him if he was okay, and surely he was fine, and then she would head in for the night. Simple.

Elodie jogged down the stairs and over in the direction Elder had headed. By the time she had reached the wall she saw that Elder had stopped running and was instead catching his breath, clutching at his arms as if he was shielding himself. She was just about to say something when he took off again, slinking along the darkness of the wall, following it's curve. She was a few yards behind him, he still didn't know she was there, and she continued to follow him. She followed as he lead her unknowingly through the pastures and passed some sleeping cows and a few bunnies that hadn't settled in for the night quite yet. They passed the sheds full of animal feed and finally entered the City. It was brighter out here and Elodie suddenly felt like she was wrong to have followed him. She felt like she was stalking him and the bright lights were going to expose her. She slowed her pace and fell even further behind him. Eventually she broke off his trail and instead climbed up to a terrace above the Butchers and simply watched as Elder wove in and out of streets. It seemed he was trying not to be seen as well as he was taking extra care to avoid any people who were out late, and shied away from too bright lights and large windows. 

Finally he reached his destination. Elodie watched as he glanced around one last time and walked up towards the Grav Tube that lead off the Feeder level and went up to the Shipper and Keeper levels. Of course, Elodie thought, he's just going back to Keeper Level. Eldest probably expected him back before the solar lamp clicked off and he must have lost track of time. He's probably trying to sneak back to his room without Eldest finding out he wasn't there. Simple. She should have stayed back at the Recorder Hall and just headed to bed. Now she had followed a teenage boy on a silly whim and now she had to cross the entire Feeder level to get back. It would take hours! She mentally cursed herself for letting her curiosity get the best of her and began to climb down off the terrace and begin her trip back home. Only she glimpsed something out of the corner of her eye that made her stay one more moment. Elder, instead of opening the grav tube and ascending back to the Keeper level walked just off to the side of it, where the side met the metal wall of the ship. He seemed to reach behind the tube (which she thought was impossible, she thought that the tube was flush to the wall) and grabbed a hold of something she couldn't see. Suddenly the grey of the wall pushed inward slightly and for a moment Elodie thought the wall had given away to the great blackness of open space. Instead the only thing that happened was that Elder slipped into the blackness that had appeared in the wall and as soon as he was fully consumed by it the gray wall appeared back in it's normal place. Had Elodie not seen it happen with her own two eyes she would have assumed nothing had happened at all. There was no evidence of a mysterious disappearing and reappearing wall ever existed and there was no trace left of the boy who disappeared to whatever lay on the other side. 

She couldn't bring herself to go back to the Hall. She sat there on the terrace waiting for Elder to reappear. She waited for hours and hours. She awoke the next morning to a man talking to her, "what are you doing on my porch?" he asked. She was startled and jumped awake. The solar lamp hadn't clicked on yet, but she knew the City workers typically got up earlier than the lamp. It must be time for them to go to work. By all rights the man should be mad, but he showed no emotion as her asked her what she was doing there.

"Sorry," she grumbled, "I didn't mean to fall asleep here, I was waiting for someone."  
"Waiting for who? This is my house. I was not waiting for you." He said.  
"I know, I must have... I must have gotten lost." she lied. She didn't want to argue with people who couldn't argue back, especially not after such few hours of sleep on an uncomfortable terrace four stories off the ground.  
"I'm sorry to hear that." the man said, "maybe I can help you find your way."  
"No, thank you, I'm just going to go home." she said to the emotionless man. "Sorry, again."  
"It is okay. Good day." the man said as he walked passed her and descended the metal stairs to the ground and headed to work.

Elodie climbed down herself and rubbed her lower back gently when she reached the ground. Never again, she thought, will we sleep on metal terraces. She yawned and turned toward the Hall, about to head home to take a shower, eat something, and then nap, when she found her feet had other plans. Instead of heading back home she found herself turning heal and heading toward the grav tube and the mysterious wall. 'Oh, what happened to my simple morning?' she asked herself when she found she couldn't find the will power to make her legs walk in the right direction. When she reached the wall she stared at it for a few moments. It looked the same as all the other walls. Same color, same curvature, same cool feeling when touched. Nothing was different. She looked around the sides of the grav tube and thought it wasn't strange, either. She tried shoving her hand behind it, like she had watched Elder do, but she was right - the wall and the back of the grav tube were flush, there couldn't be anything back there. 

She was about to give up when she let her hand fall away from the tube. As it did it brushed against a slight indent that was right against where the grav tube and the wall met. So there was something there, right where the two joined, after all. Gently, and now with a pounding heart, she pressed her fingers into the indent. Nothing happened. So she tried again, this time pressing harder. Again, the wall did not fall away like it had last night. She thought a moment then tried locking her fingers on the edge of the indent and pulling. That's when a small crack appeared. The City was still dark but she could hear people stirring behind their closed doors and drawn curtains. Soon it would be bustling with life as all the workers headed to their jobs and then everyone else would wake up, too. She felt that this was something secretive, based on the way Elder had acted last night, and so she squeezed herself into the small crack. 

Once inside she couldn't see anything. It was pitch black inside the wall, no City lights or solar lamp to add light here. Before she pressed on she pushed on the heavy wall that was really a door in an attempt to close it. When it didn't work she groped around blindly for another latch. Luckily she found it and pulled the door closed, expecting it to thud shut but instead it closed with a sound no louder than a whisper. But even here, in the secret place that sound was like yelling. She stood for a moment and let her eyes adjust to the darkness. Looking around she saw stairs, a giant set of wide metal stairs that went up a few steps then spread out to a small landing as they bent around and headed up. Looking straight up she saw them stretch far out of sight and she figured they must go all the way up to the Keeper level. She also noticed that about two or three landings up there was a dull light. That must be where Elder is, she thought, but why is he hiding in here?

She was about to make her way up the steps and find out if he was okay, and ask him what he was doing here, when she was suddenly pushed against the wall that wasn't a wall and felt the edge of something sharp press into the side of her neck. She was pinned there, her assaulter using his body to hold her in place, one of their hands around the hilt of what was obviously a knife and the other had grabbed at one of her arms and was twisting it backwards. She was in pain, and she was scared, and her senses kicked into overdrive. Suddenly the dustiness of the place was unbearable and she felt choked, she could hear and feel the assaulter's heavy breathing against the back of her neck, smelled the metal of the blade pressing against her delicate flesh, and she felt something warm and wet on the hand that was being held by her attacker. She didn't want to think about what that could be. She didn't want to think about what was going to happen to her. She just wished she had stuck to her simple little routine and had never followed Elder here. And that's when she realized, there was only one person who could be here.

"Elder?" she asked, her voice hitching from fear and from the dust in this place. She coughed, and immediately wished she hadn't as the force moved her even harder onto the blade. She hissed with pain as it nicked her.  
"Who are you?" he asked.  
"Elodie." she said. "The Recorder."  
"I know who you are." he said. He was the only one who ever went into the Recorder Hall and lately he had been spending more time there. She always left him alone, figuring he was studying something for Eldest. "What are you doing here?"  
"I saw you, I'm sorry. I saw you run from the Hospital last night and then disappear here. I wanted to make sure you were okay." honesty was always the best policy, right? That's what Eldest had always taught them anyway.  
"Who else saw me?" He pressed the blade closer and this time she let out a yelp as the small cut got a little bigger. She could feel the blood trickling down the side of her neck.  
"No one. No one else, I swear. I was just curious and I shouldn't have followed you. I'm sorry, Elder." she cried.  
"Don't call me that." he didn't press the blade closer but he did twist her arm more.  
"Eld-- shite, sorry. I'm so sorry. Please let me go." She was fully crying now. Tears were leaking from her eyes from the pain and fear. "I swear no one else saw me and I swear I won't tell anyone -- I won't tell Eldest if that's what you're worried about."  
"You tell NO ONE." Elder hissed in her ear. "Do you understand that?"  
"Yes!" she almost yelled. "Yes, I understand!" 

He removed the blade from her neck and backed away so she wasn't pinned anymore, but he kept his hold on her wrist. He pulled her along with him as he started walking toward the stairs. Elodie wanted to ask where he was taking her but was too afraid to ask. She had her free hand pressed against the cut on her neck as she tried to stem the bleeding. Luckily it wasn't near any major vein or artery and was no deeper than a nick one would expect from shaving too roughly. Elder brought her up to the third landing, where Elodie had seen the light earlier, and let her go. He sat down on a cot he had set up and she stood across from him, too afraid to sit down. When he let go of her wrist she went to rub it to relieve some of the pain and saw that he left a bloody hand-print behind on her skin. She looked up at him again and this time she noticed that half of the left side of his neck was ripped up and had a hole three fingers wide right behind his ear. 

"I'm sorry I had to do that." he said, breaking the silence.  
"Elder, what happened?" she asked.  
"I told you not to call me that." he said angrily. He didn't ignore her question, however, as he bent down and picked something small off the ground and tossed it at her. It fell with a 'clink' to the ground at her feet and she took this as an opportunity to sit down. She picked the object up off the floor and held it up to the small lantern he had set up. It was a small chip with three metal wires dangling from it, like a tiny octopus she had seen in a vid of Sol Earth oceans once, only those things had 8 limbs and this just had three. She studied it a moment, it was still covered in fresh blood, and it dawned on her what it was. She dropped it to the floor immediately and backed away from it. 

"Is that your wi-com?" she asked with disbelief.  
"Yeah." a smirk played on his lips. "Had to take it out. Just got it, actually." Which was believable since his hands were still covered in his own blood and if she was closer she'd have noticed his continued bleeding.  
"Are you frexing kidding me?" she asked. "Elde-- Not-Elder what the frex is going on?"  
"You're still bleeding." He said, looking up at her, and drawing the attention away from himself.  
"I don't care about that right now." She said.  
"I do." He replied. "I'm sorry, again. Didn't know who you were, if I could trust you."  
She was taken aback by this. "You can."  
He nodded. He picked up something from under his cot and walked over to her. She flinched away when he knelled down beside her and placed a cloth gently against her neck. "I'm sorry again." He said in response to her flinch.  
"Yeah." was all she replied. 

She was sure he meant it, why else would he be helping her clean it up now, but she was still wary. She hadn't gotten out of here yet. With him this close all she could smell was blood. It was now that she noticed his own wound was bleeding and his was much deeper than hers. 

"You're still bleeding." she pointed out to him.  
He lifted his hand and placed it against his neck, somehow not even flinching. "Oh, shite."  
"Here." She took the cloth from him and held it against his neck instead. "You're going to die of blood-loss in here. You should get to Doc."  
"No!" he yelled. "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt. It stopped hurting when I broke the skin. I'm not leaving."  
"You're probably in shock! That thing is going to get infected or you're going to bleed to death and I can't let you do that." she told him.  
"You will." it was clear it was a demand. "I am not leaving here. No one is going to know I am in here. Understand."  
"Elder you can't --"  
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" he yelled and knocked her hand away from his neck. His yelling had put to much pressure on him and caused the wound to bleed more freely, any clotting that had begun was broken.  
"For frex sake, let me frexing help you! Tell me what's going on and let me stop that frexing bleeding!" she was yelling now the stress of the morning was getting to her and she didn't care if he killed her in his anger but she was not going to let him, a teenager, push her around without getting some answers after what he put her through.

He paused and considered her a moment. Finally he decided to tell her his story:

"Eldest is lying to everyone." he stopped again, thinking about something, about how much she should be told. "Eldest is lying to everyone on this frexing ship and he wants me to lie to them, too. I told him I wouldn't - I couldn't lie to everyone even if it's to keep the peace. I just can't and I won't. So he sent me to the Hospital. He told Doc to kill me." He put out his arm and Elodie saw there was a cut right under the bend of his elbow - it looked as if a needle was pulled out the wrong way and instead of leaving only a pinpoint behind it was dragged along the skin and left behind an inch long gash. "Doc couldn't do it. He didn't want to kill me. He let me go. I was planning on this happening - Eldest had been threatening me for months about getting rid of me - so I packed up things I needed and stashed them here. It's the old stairwell back before the grav tube was invented. Eldest doesn't know about it. I figured out how to trick the floppies so Eldest won't see any wi-com signals from this place, but I had to deactivate mine. If I ever get to leave this place I can't have myself showing back up on the map. Eldest - everyone - needs to think I am dead." he finished explaining and looked at her, as if studying her reaction.

"What are you going to do?" she asked. "I mean, you can't stay here forever."  
"I'll figure it out." he said. I should have plenty of time to think in here. 

They were silent. Elder was trying to gauge Elodie's reaction as she was still chewing on all that he had told her. It didn't make sense to her. Eldest was a good leader. Why would he order his successor to be killed? What was he lying about? Surely Elder -- Not-Elder -- was wrong. But how could he be? He wouldn't be hiding inside a wall in the dark with a hole in his neck if he was wrong.

"What is Eldest lying about?"  
Elder sighed. "Everything. I can't tell you."  
"You can't tell me what Eldest is lying about but you said you weren't going to lie like him." she stated.  
She had gotten him and he knew it. If he lied now she wouldn't trust him and if she didn't trust him there was no way he could trust her to keep this all a secret. He sighed, "here", he reached over to a crate beside them and pulled out a bottle. Elodie didn't need him to open it to know what was inside it so she wasn't surprised that when he did that there were small blue and white pills inside. The same pills she had been taking since she moved into the Hospital. Doc said they were supposed to make her less loons.  
"I didn't know you were loons, too." she said.  
He laughed. It was a harsh, humorless, laugh and he winced with pain as finally his neck was regaining feeling.  
"Yeah, see, now you feel it." Elodie stated. "What's so funny about being loons?"  
"Everything," he said, "because we're not loons."  
"Yes we are, Doc said so, I've been in the Hospital since I was 10. I've been taking those pills for 15 years." she told him.  
"It's all a lie. You notice how the people in the City are different, don't you? How they seem... empty. That's not normal. They're supposed to be like US. We're the normal ones." he explained.  
"You are loons!" she stated.  
"No, listen! I know you see it. They're not right - they don't think, they don't feel, they just do whatever Eldest tells them! And us, we're normal because we think and feel and choose what we want and don't want to do! Eldest is controlling them! Eldest has this stuff - Phydus - and he's putting it in the water. It takes away their ability to think for themselves! Everyone drinks it. Even us. But this," he held up the pills, "these inhibitor pills prevent it from working. We don't take these because we're loons, we take them so we wont be mindless drones!" 

Elodie didn't know what to think, all of this was overloading her. She needed time to digest what he was telling her, needed time to figure out if he was actually so loons that he was making this all up. 

"I should go." she said. She stood, letting the bloody cloth she had been pressing against Elder's neck fall to the ground, and began to walk away.  
"You can't." he called after her.  
She stopped dead, too full of fear to keep walking. This was it, she thought, he's going to kill me, he was never going to let me get out of here.  
"Not yet." he continued. "Please, someone will see you."  
"You're going to let me go?" She asked, and immediately wished she hadn't, she didn't want him to think about it and change his mind.  
"Yes. I'm not a killer. I just... I just need to disappear. I need to stay here and think about what I'm going to do, how I'm going to get the truth to everyone. I just need a way that's not going to cause a mutiny, or get anyone killed. I need to protect the people." he said witch such sincerity that Elodie did believe him.  
"You're loons." she said, turning back to face him.  
He smiled up at her. "Maybe just a little."

It wasn't very reassuring but she couldn't shake the feeling inside her that was telling her he wasn't lying. She knew deep down that the City people were wrong, she'd always known it, and what Elder was saying did sort of make sense even if it did sound completely loons. 

"What else is he lying about?" she asked softly, walking back towards his makeshift camp and sitting down across from him.  
"Like I said, everything. I found out a few more things before he ordered Doc to kill me, some big things, even bigger than the Phydus. And I know there's more, I just need to figure them out. One day I'll get out of here and I will figure out all this ship's secrets. I can't tell you everything. I'm sorry - I just... it's --" he started.  
"You don't trust me." she stated.  
"I trust you that you wont tell anyone I'm here." he assured her. "And I trust you won't tell anyone about the Phydus - Eldest would kill you."  
"He would not! See, you are loons!" she yelled. She couldn't believe that her kind and gentle leader was a killer.  
"Look at me!" he yelled back at her. "I'm supposed to be the future leader and where am I? Am I on the Keeper level training with Eldest? Am I? No! I'm sitting in a forgotten hole in the wall with a hole in my neck and a gash on my arm from where Doc ripped the needle out of my arm when he decided he couldn't bring himself to kill me - something Eldest ordered him to do! He's not like you think he is! He controls people's minds to make them work! He hides secrets even from his successors! He tried to kill me!"  
"Maybe you're so loons you only think that's what happened! Maybe he was sending you to Doc to get better meds. Maybe he was trying to help you and you ran away! Maybe he's looking for you right now, worried that you've gotten hurt!" she argued. "He's probably trying to --" 

She was cut off mid-sentence when her wi-com beeped three times. "Com-link: Eldest." a gentle, female voice chirped into her left ear. She listened as her leader spoke, his voice filling her head: "Attention Godspeed. It is with heavy heart that I am speaking to you this morning. I apologize that the news I have to report is devastating. Please, sit if you are standing, I do not wish anyone to be hurt if they become overwhelmed with shock - I know I am. My friends, my family - Our Elder has passed on to the stars. There was an accident, he acted recklessly, and now he is gone. Do not worry - there will be a new leader to take my place, Godspeed must go on, the mission will not fail - but let us not forget him. That is all." 

Elodie couldn't believe it. She was wrong, Eldest wasn't looking for Elder, wasn't trying to help him. He really did believe that he was dead. And the way he sounded in his all-call... it wasn't right. Maybe it could fool the empty, emotionless people of the City, but not her. She heard not an ounce of regret or despair in his voice. He may as well have been reporting that the ship walls were still grey and the garden was still green. 

"What did he say?" Elder asked. "I know it was him - what did he tell everyone?"  
"I believe you." she said to him, still so lost in her own thoughts that her voice sounded as emotionless as those in the City.  
"Why?" he asked. He was dying to know what Eldest had said.  
"He lied." she said. She pulled herself out of her thoughts, "He lied! You were right."  
"Tell me, please." he asked again.  
"He wasn't in the least bit upset. Not even a drop of sadness. Like it was the most boring thing in the world." she rambled, speaking her thoughts out loud. "You would think -- but he didn't. He doesn't care. And if he doesn't care then... then you were right. If he doesn't care it's because he knew. Because it wasn't an accident. Because he wanted it..." she looked over to Elder who wasn't Elder anymore. "He said you died."  
"What else?" he asked, leaning closer to where she was sitting as if by getting closer he could hear the ghost of Eldest's words echoing through her head.  
"Just that there was an accident, that you were reckless, and now you're among the stars. That Godspeed will continue, a new leader, but you are dead." she summarized. "He sounded bored, not devastated like he said."  
"You know why." Not-Elder said sitting back up in a normal position.  
"You're not lying." Elodie said.  
"I told you, I'm trying to tell the truth, unlike him." he said. "I just need to figure everything out."  
"How are you going to live in here?" she asked.  
"I've got enough stuff, I'll figure it out." he said. "I'll come out when I think it's safe - or when I need to, like if I run out of food or something."  
"Will you be okay?" she gestured to his wound.  
"I won't rip anything else out of me." he smiled. "Other than that I don't think anything else could hurt me in here. Unless I trip and fall down these stairs." He laughed.  
Elodie didn't find it funny. "Don't do that, either."  
He laughed harder but the laughing turned to a hiss as pain shot through his neck. "No problem." he said through clenched teeth, his hand pressing hard against the open wound, trying to stop the pain but really only making it worse.  
"That probably needs stitches." Elodie told him.  
"But it wont happen." he said.  
"Yeah, I know." she sighed. "What am I supposed to do now?"  
"I don't know - we'll wait out the day and when it's dark again you can leave. You know you can't tell anyone." he told her.  
"I know, I won't." she promised.  
"And you can't come back here." he added.  
"What if I want to make sure you're okay?" she asked.  
"You can't." he warned. "You can't come back here - if Eldest spots you or a shipper or anyone see's you disappearing into a wall... they will find me, it's too risky. Once you leave today you can't come back."  
"Eld --" she stopped herself and sighed, "What if you need help?"  
"Then I will come to you - but you can't come to me, okay?" he asked.  
"Fine." she yawned, the lack of sleep and the crazy morning finally catching up to her.  
"Here," he said, getting up off his makeshift cot. "You can sleep if you want, you look tired."  
"No, I shouldn't." she said. She couldn't sleep in his little cot no matter how tired she was. It felt like an odd thing to do after he almost killed her and after Eldest announced him dead. It didn't help that the edge of the thin sheet on top of it was covered in blood. He should have pulled that thing out somewhere else, she thought. Then shook her head chasing away the thought, all of this was still loons.  
"Well here, take this at least." he tossed a pillow at her. She barely caught it, her reflexes were so slow from fatigue. "If it'll make you more comfortable you can sleep on a different landing - I'll stay up here."  
She considered this a moment. Realizing she'd be here all day and admitting she was exhausted she took him up on his offer. "Thanks."  
"Don't worry about it." he smiled.

She took his pillow and walked down to the landing below. From this landing she could still see the glow of his lantern as the light stretched its way down towards her, but she couldn't see him. She didn't want to feel like she was being watched as she slept so being down here made her feel more comfortable. She laid down and got as comfortable as possible, wondering if she'd even be able to fall asleep what with her mind racing as it was. As she placed her head on the pillow she thought, nothing's ever going to be simple again, is it? Before she could spend time thinking about it she fell into a deep sleep.


	2. Down the Rabbit Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elodie's life gets even more complicated as she decides to return to Elder's hiding place and he decides to share some more of Godspeed's secrets with her.

He woke her up when he figured it was a safe enough hour for her to leave without being spotted. She returned home, to the Recorder Hall, and tried to resume life like normal. But two weeks had passed and she still couldn't seem to stop thinking about everything he had told her. Nor could she stop worrying that something had happened to him. What if he had gotten an infection in his wound or what if Eldest knew about that place and already found him. She found that sleep came less and less easily as her worried increased. 

It was midday and she was sitting at a table in the kitchen when she heard the giant front doors of the Hall open. She couldn't bring herself to get up and greet whoever it was who had entered, she was too lost in her own thoughts. It was rude, maybe, but she didn't care. 

"Auntie Elie!" a cry of joy filled the room.  
Elodie turned her head and smiled at the little boy who had entered the kitchen; it was her nephew. "Harley!" 

She hadn't seen him since he was born, she couldn't bare to. Her brother and sister-in-law were completely unmoved by his birth - as if it was something they just had to do rather than something in need of celebration. They seemed proud, but not so much that it stopped her brother from going to work that day or her sister from returning to work once she healed leaving little Harley to be taken care of by his grandparents instead, since they were considered too old to work. She would have taken him, she thought, if only his emotionless expressions hadn't scared her away from the idea. It scared her how the child - how all children - were calm and completely emotionless. She thought they should be happy and playful like in the vids of old Sol Earth games. Knowing what she now knew she realized it was the Phydus in the water and probably some from the mothers (gained through breastfeeding) that rendered the infants and toddlers as mindless as the adults.  
She was surprised to see him so... full of emotion.

"What are you doing here? Where's your Dada?" she asked him, scooping him up off the floor and sitting him on her lap.  
"Workin'." he smiled. "Mama, too."  
"You came here all by yourself?" she asked him. Surely he shouldn't have been allowed out all alone.  
"No, silly!" he said as if she were the child and he the adult. "I came here with a nurse from the hopsital."  
"You mean the Hospital." she corrected him.  
"That's what I said!" he insisted. "They say I'm gonna live there now. They say I have to take loon meds. I've been there... " he thought a moment before holding up three fingers, "this many days!"  
"Loon meds?" she questioned him. The inhibitor pills.  
"Yes, they say I won't be living with Mama or Dada anymore... but that I can go to school instead and I can come see you all the time Auntie Elie!" he seemed to be excited about this. Elodie remembered she was devastated when she was told she was Loons. She grew angry at the thought knowing now that she was normal.  
"Oh Harley, you're not loons!" she told him. "You are perfectly normal now!"  
"Nah, loons! Loons is more fun! We're both loons Auntie Elie!" He laughed.  
Elodie sighed. she supposed there was no way to argue with a 5 year old and win. "It is more fun, I can assure you." At least she would try to make him feel better about it even if he did seem fine for the moment. She knew by experience that one moment it could be fine and the next it wouldn't be. If she was honest, though, she was glad - she was beyond happy that her nephew wasn't going to be under the influence of phydus. "What are you going to learn in school? Are you going to be a shipper?"  
"I'm gonna learn art! I like colors, I want to do something with colors." he said.  
"Hmmm," Elodie thought, "what about painting? You could use all the colors you want with painting."  
"What's that?" there was an increase in his excitement.  
"Here, I'll show you." she smiled.

Elodie picked him up and carried him back out into the hall. She waved at the nurse who had escorted Harley to the Hall and the nurse nodded, bored of waiting already. She sat Harley down in front of a floppy and began tapping away at the screen. She brought up all sorts of paintings; some by ancient artists, some by artists who lived around the era before Godspeed took flight, and some by artists who lived during the previous gens. Harley sat there, wide-eyed, enraptured by the painting he saw on the screen before him. At some point he rose to his feet and reached out to touch the screen when a painting with incredibly vivid colors appeared. "Whoa...."

"You could paint things just like that one day." Elodie told him.  
"No." he said, "I'm going to paint better things!"  
"There you go!" Elodie encouraged. "It's going to take practice, though."  
"Practice?" he questioned.  
"It's where you paint more and more and more and the more you do it the better you will get. But you can't stop because then you will never get better." she explained.  
"Practice.... " he repeated. "That means I have to start now!"  
"Might as well, you're not getting any younger. You're a big boy now." she joked with him.  
"I am!" he said, proudly. "I am big! And I should practice before I'm old! Thank you, Auntie Elie!" he hugged her tight and ran toward the nurse. "Nurse Lila I have to go practice! Come on before I'm old like Eldest!" 

Elodie shuddered at the mention of his name. For a moment she was able to forget about him - the ever present leader of the ship - but now he once again loomed over her thoughts. She watched Harley and nurse Lila leave, returning Harley's goodbye wave when he turned at the door one last time, and she sat down at a table, pulling a small floppy over to her. She wasn't sure exactly what she wanted to do with it so at first she was absentmindedly tapping away at the screen, filling it with images that she wasn't paying any attention to anyway. Eventually an image flashed by that did capture her attention; it was a blueprint of the ship. On it she saw nothing unusual - it simply labeled the Keeper, Shipper, and Feeder levels - nowhere on the blueprints did she see the secret stairwell where Elder - Not-Elder - was now hidden. 

"None of this makes sense." she sighed and placed her head down on the table. "I've gotta go see him again." 

"See who?" a voice asked from the doorway. She hadn't noticed the door open or the man walk in and she didn't need to turn around to know who's voice it was, she'd heard it plenty of times before.

"Eldest." she said, standing and turning to face him. "It's a pleasure to see you!" Great, she thought, now I'm lying to Eldest.  
"I hope I wasn't disturbing you." he said, faking concern as he walked over to her table.  
"Not at all!" she said quickly. "I was... I was just reading up on some things."  
Eldest reached her table and glanced over her shoulder at the floppy which still displayed the blueprints to Godspeed. "Reading up on the Godspeed blueprints? May I ask what for?" there was a hardness in his voice now. 

Elodie felt like she had been caught red-handed looking at something forbidden. But surely these blueprints weren't forbidden, after all she was able to access them on her own without needing override from Eldest. "I was, yes." she thought quickly. "See, my nephew, he's starting school and... and I thought it would be a good idea to read up on Godspeed's history so I could help teach him about our home."  
Eldest considered her for a moment and said, "you should teach him about the plague."  
"I think that's a dark subject for a child." Elodie said a bit sheepishly.  
"It is vital to our history. It teaches us that unity is important." Eldest asserted. "It teaches us that we all must do what we need to in order to survive. Everyone has a very important job to do and we can not have anyone not doing their part."  
"Yes. Yes, everyone should do their job." Elodie agreed.  
"I am glad you understand." Eldest said.

There was a moment of awkward silence between them before Elodie broke it with a question, "Eldest, sir, was there anything I could help you with? Are you looking for a book, perhaps?"  
"No. I don't think what I'm looking for is here after all." he said quietly.  
"I'm sorry I can not help, then." Elodie told him.  
"Who did you say you were you going to see?" he asked.  
Shite, he heard that, Elodie cursed to herself. "No one, Eldest, just my... my brother. It came as a shock - my nephew, I mean, him needing to live at the Hospital and all."  
"Well, genetics are a funny thing, sometimes they can show in some family members but not all. These defective genes showed up in you, but they must have skipped your brother and just showed up again in your nephew. It can happen, even in twins despite how close those genetics can be." Eldest explained.  
Elodie couldn't get passed the way he said 'defective' like it was a curse. "You must be right, Eldest. Thank you for explaining it." 

Eldest again considered her. Elodie was worried he could see right through her lies but luckily he seemed satisfied with what she had said to him. 

"I must be going." he said, "I have important business to attend to. Thank you for your time."  
"It is never a problem, Eldest." Elodie said as politely as she could. Eldest nodded and left the hall.

Elodie was alone now. She felt dizzy and sick. She shouldn't have ever lied to Eldest. Had she never ran after Elder but Not-Elder that day she still wouldn't but now everything was upside down. She thought about what he had told her and once again cursed, this time out loud, "shite"! He was looking for Elder. He must have been. He came in here looking for Elder not some book. Eldest announced him dead but didn't believe it. She had to go back and warn him. Had to tell him that Eldest was still looking for him. She was convinced Eldest knew about the stairwell and was going to find him any moment. Maybe he, too, would sneak in after the solar lamp clicked off for the night as to not scare the people in the city. Elodie decided then that she would go back and warn him. 

She had dinner late that evening and watched the clock count down the minutes at a painstakingly slow rate. Two hours til dark-time she set out and crossed the pastures, then weaving through the streets of the City as the workers were heading home. She paused briefly at a crossroads and looked down the road to her left, a road that contained the house where she was born - where her brother and sister-in-law now lived. She considered stopping by, but she had other matters to attend to. Besides, they never had anything new to say and now her nephew was living in the Hospital. It was sad, but she didn't have anything here anymore. She kept walking and eventually she made her way to the wall. It was a block away but she could still see the Shippers descending through the grav tube, heading home for the night. She couldn't just go sit by the wall, so she kept walking. She walked in circles for roughly a half an hour more until the solar lamp finally clicked off for the night. 

She looked around - everything was quite now. It was like someone hit stop on a vid. Nobody was around. She could see the lights from the homes, she could hear things like cups clattering or the cows off in the distance mooing, but other than that there was silence. She kept looking around until she was a hundred percent certain there was no one around and finally she worked up the courage to creep over to the wall-that's-really-a-door and pull it open. Sneaking in and closing it behind her she looked around but couldn't see. It was too dark. 

Panic kicked in. There was no light coming from where Not-Elder's camp was supposed to be. Something happened to him, she thought, I didn't get here in time.  
"Elder!" she whispered as loud as she could. "Shite - sorry! Are you okay?"

She felt like an idiot. Eldest probably got to him and now she was risking her neck just being here. It was too much for her to handle. The stress of the last two weeks all came crashing down on her and once and she started crying. She dropped to her knees and buried her face in her hands. 

"I thought you promised you wouldn't come back?" a deep voice asked from over her shoulder.  
Elodie straightened up and pushed herself back up on her feet and turned around. Not-Elder was standing there, holding his lantern, staring at her with more confusion than anger. He must have heard her crying.  
"Elder!" she ran over to him and hugged him. "Frex. I'm so happy you're okay!"  
He hesitated a moment before wrapping one of his arms around her lightly. "Yeah...."  
She pulled away from him. "Frex, sorry. Uh... long day."  
"Don't worry about it." he said, a little embarrassed, rubbing his arm and looking at the dirty ground.

The silence between them was awkward, but at least their silence didn't leave Elodie feeling scared and sick like her exchange with Eldest. Thinking about it reminded her why she had come back.

"I spoke with Eldest." she said suddenly when she snapped out of her embarrassment.  
"What?" Elder asked angrily. "You said you wouldn't --"  
"I didn't tell him anything!" she defended. "He came into the Hall today. I had just finished talking with my nephew, Harley, he's living in the Hospital now...but you don't care about that.... Uh, well, anyway - Eldest comes in and he says he's looking for something, I offer to help but he say's he's not looking for any books. I think he's looking for you! He left, after spewing some stuff about everyone doing their job and stuff. But... he asked a lot of questions and I don't know. He probably knows about this place! If you knew he must know! I mean, he is Eldest. You're not safe here. I had to come warn you and when I didn't see your light I thought he already got to you and... and I thought I was too late to help... I was --"  
He took a step toward her and put his arm around her shoulders, "take a deep breath, I don't need the Recorder dying on me in my secret room."  
She looked up at him and saw the smile on his face, she couldn't help but return it. "Shut up."  
"Come on, I want to show you something." he said.

He led her in the direction away from the stairs. A few feet passed the secret door was another door - this one made of plastic and with a knob and lock reminiscent of those from the pictures of Sol Earth homes. He opened the door and it led to another stairwell, though this was was skinnier and made of metal. The stairs seemed to spiral down. 

"Where does this go?" she asked.  
"To the level below this one." he told her.  
"There is no level below this one." she responded.  
"No? Then where do these stairs go?" he countered. "Come on." 

He took his arm off her shoulders and stepped out onto the stairs. She hesitated and pulled her arms against her body as if shielding herself from something. He held out his hand, still holding the lantern with the other, and said, "It's alright. Trust me."  
She bit her lip and looked around.  
"Come on, follow me down the rabbit hole." he smiled, pleased with himself.  
She recognized what he was talking about. He was referencing to a children's book from Sol Earth. "I don't know. Strange things happened when Alice followed her white rabbit."  
"And I promise strange things will happen if you follow this one." his smile grew wider.  
"Why would I want that?" she asked him, but she couldn't help smiling along with him. It was like his smile was contagious.  
"Because you're already in too deep. Now you just need to know." he said.  
She sighed and took his hand. "Fine, but please don't get me killed."  
"I promise you'll be fine." he said, "just stick with me."

He led her down the stairs. Surprisingly they did not go on for as long as she thought they would, this secret lower level having a smaller ceiling height than the Feeder Level. The stairs led to another Sol-Earth-like door and he opened that, too, which left them standing in a hallway. 

Elodie looked around, "what is this place?"  
"It's the 'storage' level." he told her. "Only it has much more than storage."  
"What do you mean?" she asked.  
"Come on, I'll show you." he was still holding on to her hand so he gently pulled her along until he reached the end of the hallway. He pushed open the door and Elodie saw what looked like a bunch of metal drawers.  
"Are those the storage containers?" she asked.  
"I guess you could call them that." he said.  
"What do you think is inside?" she questioned.  
"People. People are inside." he told her.  
"What?! You're loons! People are not inside those boxes!" she refused to believe him, though at this point there was really no reason for her not to.  
"Look." he let go of her hand and walked over to the first box in the first row since it was the closest. 

He put his lantern down on the floor then carefully opened the drawer and pulled on a thick table that gently slid out bringing with it a metal and glass box. What was inside the box is what Elodie couldn't wrap her head around. She took a slow step toward the strange box and then took two steps back. She didn't want to be any closer. She could make out the figure from where she stood. She could see that inside the box a human, naked and immobile, was floating in ice. Tubes extended from the top of his box, connected to some machine, and continued through the lid and disappeared into his mouth. Steam rose up from the coffin of ice as it began thawing in the room's warmth. 

"Put it away!" she yelled. "I don't want to see it anymore."  
Elder listened and carefully slid the man back into the drawer and closed the door. Elodie turned away and hugged herself again.  
"Are you okay?" he walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.  
Her eyes were closed and she kept them shut tight. "Why is everything I know a lie? Who are those people? They look so weird."  
"They're from Sol-Earth." he told her, answering her second question first since it was the easiest to answer. "I'm sorry - now you know how I feel."  
"I don't want to feel how you feel." she whispered.  
"Sorry," he said, and he meant it. "I know - it's not fun. I just... I needed to tell somebody else. If I didn't, I think I would have gone loons - for real."  
"And what am I supposed to do? I can't tell anyone. How am I supposed to not go loons?" she asked, almost crying again.  
"You can tell me. I know I already know, but... we can talk to each other about it now. So we don't have to carry it all by ourselves." he told her. His voice was warm, gentle.  
"What else is down here?" she asked, though she couldn't believe it. All she could think about was how she didn't want to be in this room with the weird Sol-Earth people in drawers and yet she had asked to see more.  
"The phydus pump." he told her. "It's on the other side of the room."  
"Show me." she said.  
"Are you sure?" he asked.  
"Yes." she answered.

He led her through the rows of drawers, passed a few empty tubes, and finally to the back of the room. They stopped in front of a tall pump, about as tall as Elder. It wasn't impressive by any means. Just a metal tub, really, with smaller tubes and wires running out of it by the base.  
"I thought it would be more... menacing." Elodie admitted.  
"It is just the pump." he told her. He kicked at a bucket on the ground next to it. It was empty except for some patches of goop that clung to the sides, "it's this shite that's bad. Pour this in there and boom! Instant slaves." 

Elodie bent down to inspect the bucket, she stared at the patches of old goo on the sides and reached out a hand to touch it.  
"Don't!" Elder cried, grabbing her hand away. "Don't touch it. It's not diluted, it'll kill you."  
"What do you mean?" Elodie asked, standing with him as he rose.  
"If it's concentrated enough, like this is, " he gestured to the leftover goop, "then it'll kill you. It'll invade your bloodstream and calm you. Calm you so much that your heart will stop beating and you'll die. Like overdosing on a medpatch. Only it'll act quickly and you'll know it's happening - you'll know you're dying but you wont care enough to try and stop it. Not that you could anyway."  
"Frex." was all she could say. "And Eldest puts that shite in our water."  
"Yeah." he answered. "Yeah, he does."  
"We have to stop it." she said.  
"I know. I just need to figure out how first." he told her.  
Elodie nodded. "What's in the other rooms?"  
"Most of them are locked. They need old codes and passwords, I couldn't access them with my override. I'm going to figure it out, though. One of them is for genetic engineering." he explained.  
"What's in there?" she questioned.  
"DNA. For cows and rabbits and stuff. It's how we got them here on Godspeed, the ones from Sol-Earth died out. Some of the DNA is for other stuff." he began to look sheepish.  
"Like what?" she wanted to know more.  
"Uhh... " he rubbed at his neck, and he winced with pain from his wound which was now red, swollen, and angry looking. "Some giant cat things from Sol-Earth. Some plants....". 

Elodie felt like there was something else he wasn't telling her but figured it wasn't too important. It was just DNA and it didn't mean anything to Elodie, not like the phydus did. That was something that directly concerned her. Even the frozen people didn't really mean anything to her other than it was a lie, unnatural, and she didn't know what they were for. 

"Can we go back upstairs? This room is starting to creep me out." she said, and Elder seemed relieved that she dropped her questions about the DNA room.  
"Wait - there's one more thing I want to show you." he was smiling now.  
"I'm not sure I want to know any more right now." she told him.  
"No, I think you'll like this." he said, I know I did.  
She sighed, "alright." 

He took her by the hand again and led her down the hallway, passed the door they had come in through. There were hatches sitting within the wall and they passed all of them, only stopping when they reached the very last one. Elder tapped some things on a screen that sat outside of the hatch and Elodie watched as a metal plate rose upwards, leaving the room inside the hatch open to space and allowing her to see the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. 

Real stars.  
Not pictures or vids, but real stars.  
She was enraptured by them, captivated by their sheer beauty and she pressed her hands against the glass trying to touch them. 

"They're beautiful." she whispered.  
"I know." he told her. "I know." He gently placed his hand over hers and was glad when she didn't pull her hand away. "Thank you for being here."  
"What do you mean?" she asked, quietly, like she didn't want to speak too loud and scare away the stars.  
"I meant what I said earlier, that I would go loons without someone to share this with." he said.  
"I'm not so sure we're both not loons anyway." she smiled at him. 

He smiled back at her. She didn't notice until now how handsome he was. Even if he was only 17 he looked older, more mature. His face was kind and gentle, with high cheekbones and a smile seemed to play at his lips even when they were resting. His brown eyes were warm, rather than cold, and seemed like they could be trusted. His dark brown hair was messy, and probably had some blood caked in it from when he ripped the wi-com out, but it still looked good. His olive colored skin matched hers, matched everyone aboard Godspeed's - as did his hair and eye color. He was tall, a good five to six inches taller than her, and thin. She hoped he had packed enough food - she didn't think he could do with getting any thinner. 

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" she asked, looking him in the eye rather than looking out at the stars.  
"I promise, I will be okay." he said.  
"Maybe I'll stay a day or two and make sure Eldest doesn't come looking for you." she said.  
"You can't and you know it. A missing Recorder would be too weird to ignore." he wasn't saying anything she didn't already know.  
"Yeah." she said turning back toward the stars, "you're right."

They stayed there a bit longer until finally Elodie was growing tired.  
"I've got a long way home," she said, "I should probably be getting back before I'm too tired to walk that far."  
"Okay, come on." he tapped against the screen again and the metal sunk back down, once again hiding the stars. "Let's go get my lantern and then we'll head back up."  
"Alright." she agreed.

Together they walked to the end of the hall and into the room with the frozen people. They stopped in front of the drawers and Elder bent down and picked up the lantern then started walking towards the hall again. They stopped dead in their tracks when they heard a sound from down the hall - it sounded like the elevator at the end of the hall.

"Frex!" Elder whispered. "Keep quiet and stay close. It's Eldest." 

Elodie was beyond scared at the mention of his name. This could be it - Eldest could find the two of them and if Elder was right then Eldest would kill the both of them. She was frozen with fear, but Eldest extinguished the light from his lantern and grabbed her hand tightly. He squeezed it for a second as if to assure her it would be okay. He pulled her around the end of the row so that they were standing in-between the first and second rows of drawers. He pulled her about halfway down the row so that Eldest wouldn't be able to see them as he walked into the room. Elder hoped he would stick to the main isle as he walked, undoubtedly, to the end of the room to add more phydus to the pump.

They were as quiet as their frozen companions. Elodie kept her eyes shut tightly again, the sound of her heart pounding filling her ears and hoping that no one else could hear it too. It felt like hours as they listened to Eldest's footsteps grow louder and louder as he got closer and closer to them. Elodie nearly puked with fear when she heard him enter the room and stop. This is it, she thought, he knows where we are and he's going to kill us. But as soon as she finished the thought Eldest resumed walking and she heard his footsteps start to get softer as he passed them and walked closer and closer to the phydus pump.

Elder pulled her close to him and then started walking toward the end of the row. When they reached it he carefully and slowly peered around the edge, praying to the stars Eldest wasn't looking in their direction as he did so. He saw Eldest at the workbench against the wall - his back was to them as he began to pour a tub of phydus into the very bucket he had kicked earlier. It wouldn't take long for him to finish and they had to move quickly and quietly. He turned and looked at Elodie. With his free hand he held a finger to his lips, signalling the need to move quietly. Then he took his fingers away from his mouth and put up two more. On the count of three they would go. 

1...  
2...  
3.

He squeezed her hand and they took off - walking quickly but lightly as they walked passed the rows and out the door into the hall. Luckily for them Eldest had left it open so they didn't need to try and shut it quietly without him hearing. Once they were on the other side of the door they stuck to the walls to be extra safe and headed directly for the door down the hall. They entered the stairwell again and Elodie watched as Elder took a key out of his pocket and locked the door they had just come through.

"How could he not know this is here?" Elodie whispered, heart still pounding, still too afraid to speak loudly.  
"There's no window in the door, and I keep it locked." he said. "Eldest doesn't bother with locked doors. He doesn't care about the ships secrets."  
"What if he cares now - because he's not a hundred percent sure you're dead?" she asked.  
"He'll stop doubting it soon. When I don't show up a while he'll be sure." he assured her, though she thought he was still trying to convince himself, too. "Come on - you should get going while he's busy down here, just to be safe."  
Elodie nodded and let him lead her up and back out of the rabbit hole.


	3. Nice and Simple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elodie returns back to the Recorder Hall only to find Doc is waiting for her.

Despite knowing where Eldest was Elodie still took extra caution on her way back home. It wasn't until she was clear of the City and almost at the Hospital that she decided she was close enough to the safety of her home to drop her defenses a little. When she reached the door of the Recorder Hall she was nearly about to pass out with exhaustion, all she longed to do was head directly to bed and sleep, but when she pushed the door open she found that the hall was not empty as it typically was, especially at this time of night.

"Doc." she said, surprised, "What are you doing here? It's late."  
"Where were you?" he asked, anger clear in his voice.  
"None of your business." she spat back at him. Who was he to ask her such a thing? He wasn't Eldest, he wasn't even older than her. Her business was her's and her's alone.   
"It is, actually." Doc said. "I need to make sure you are safe, I am the Doctor, after all."  
"So? If I was hurt I would go see you. In the Hospital." she stressed the word letting him know that he clearly wasn't welcome here. Especially now.

Doc was standing several feet from her, his arms were folded behind his back, it was dark in the Hall, even the floppy screens had fallen into their mechanical sleep mode. He began pacing. 

"You still didn't answer. Where were you?" He repeated.  
"I already told you, it's none of your frexing business." she cursed at him.  
His temper exploded, "You think I'm a chutz, do you? You think no one sees you sneak passed the Hospital? Your own nephew saw you walk by this evening and head toward the City, what business do you have there? Who are you meeting?" 

Elodie hadn't thought she wasn't being stealthy. I should have waited to set out until after the solar lamp clicked off, she thought, like Elder had - ugh I'm such an idiot.

"Listen, Doc, what I do in the City is my own business. Or do you mean to tell me I can't leave this place? That I can't check up on my own family! They still live there, you know! As does yours!" she figured the lie she told Eldest was the best to use in this situation - it was logical and should Doc and Eldest actually be working together (though Elodie doubted this since Doc did go behind his back) it was better to use one lie - easier to keep track of that way.

He considered her words, he chewed on his cheek as if he were tasting them. There was something in his eyes, however, that suggested he didn't like the taste of them. 

"Fine." he sneered, "....fine."

He began to walk toward the door, by doing so he got closer and closer to her. For a moment she thought he was actually going to walk straight up to her and maybe hit her, but he stopped inches away from her, his shoulder pressing against hers, and hissed, "Watch where you go, recorder." He resumed walking towards the door and Elodie couldn't wait to hear the large and heavy door be pulled shut. It didn't however, and she turned to see Doc had once again stopped, his frame silhouetted by the dim light coming from outside. 

"I fixed your med pump, by the way, there was a malfunction earlier. You're welcome. I think you know how badly you need them." he told her and walked down the stairs, heading back to the Hospital, without shutting the door.

Elodie rushed over and slammed the door shut, collapsing against it once it was closed. What did he mean, she thought, shite he must know somehow. Perhaps it was paranoia but Elodie thought she was right, Doc must somehow know that she knows. She tried to cast the thoughts away, tried to tell herself she was being ridiculous, that Doc was telling the truth about the malfunction, that what he really meant was he thought she was loons and therefore needed her meds. But then she remembered that he knew about the phydus, too, hadn't Elder said that? That was how Doc was going to kill him. Yes, she thought, Doc knows about the phydus, knows Elder is alive, and he must know that I know it, too! 

"What am I going to do?" she thought out-loud. "I can't go back to Elder - Eldest and Doc are watching me now. But I need to see him! And I can't!" 

Despite how her mind was racing and how badly she wanted to think about how to solve these problems her exhaustion overtook her and she fell asleep there against the door. 

When she woke the next morning it was still early and she was still tired, only now she was also sore from sleeping in a sitting position on the cold, hard floor. She stood, her back cracking softly as she rose, and headed for the kitchen.

'How am I going to get back to Elder?' she thought, her mind picking up right where it left off when she had fallen asleep.  
'I can't go back for a while, that I can deal with, but I can't stay away from him forever!' 

She walked up to the pill dispenser, inside sat a small blue and white pill which she grabbed, and then she headed to the sink where she poured herself a glass of water to swallow the pill with. She sat down at the table in the center of the small room and rubbed sleep from her eyes. 

'Elder is going to wonder what happened to me.' she thought, 'Or is he? Will he be glad if I don't come back? No, surely he would - he said that didn't he? Oh what did he say?' 

She thought for a moment, trying to remember their conversation - something about him going loons or her being loons or something.... Her face screwed up in confusion, perplexed at how she couldn't seem to remember a conversation that happened only hours ago. She thought harder and harder trying to bring his words back to her but the harder she thought the more of the conversation she seemed to loose until finally she couldn't even remember what she was trying to think about.

'That's strange,' she thought, 'I could have sworn I was remembering something important....' 

When the memories continued to elude her she gave up, thinking, 'Ah well, can't be too important if I can't remember.' 

She went to rise from the chair, and doing so made her muscles cry with soreness from the roughness of her sleep. 'What a silly thing that was, to let myself fall asleep on the floor,' she thought, 'what was I doing last night that I couldn't make it to bed? That'll never happen again.' 

She walked out into the Hall and looked out the window, the solar lamp had clicked on just as she pulled back the curtains and she was momentarily blinded from the sudden brightness. She smiled at the light, however, as she thought it was such a nice and welcome sight compared to the darkness in the hall. She flicked on the lights and bathed the large room in light, making it seem more welcoming. The school children would be showing up soon, she thought, and decided to head to her room to change. 

When the children arrived she was sitting at a desk near the entrance. She rose to greet them, and gave them a short speech about how to properly use the wall floppy's for their studies. When they broke up into groups to use the floppy's (each of which had been set up for a different subject) Harley broke from his group to say hello.

"Auntie Elie!" he yelled, some of the other kids turning their heads to watch him. They didn't have any aunties or uncles, and some of them were slightly jealous though they would never admit it. "Guess what Auntie!"  
"Shouldn't you be studying?" she questioned, there was a smile on her face but not in her voice, and Harley picked up on it.  
"Are you okay, Auntie? Are you sad?" he asked.  
"No, why, that is silly. Of course I am not sad. I am perfectly fine." she told him.  
"You're acting strange, Auntie," he informed her. "Are you sick? Maybe you should see Doc! Doc has all the medicines."   
"Doc?" she repeated. Somewhere in the back of her mind a memory tried it's best to spark, to remind her of something that had happened, but the fire in her mind just wouldn't ignite. "No, I am fine. Run along now, you should be studying."  
Harley looked up at her, hurt all over his face. He just couldn't understand why his Auntie was suddenly acting so strangely. It scared him and he no longer wanted to be by her. "Bye, Auntie." he mumbled as he ran off to join a large group of kids in front of one of the floppys. 

The children left after a few hours and Elodie was once again alone in the massive building. She had straightened up after the children, had herself some lunch, took and early shower, enjoyed a small dinner, and then went to her chair on the porch to watch the solar lamp click off for the night. As she sat there, relaxing, she watched Doc ascend the stairs. 

"Hello, Elodie." he greeted her.  
"Hello, Doc." she said, smiling.  
"You seem... well today?" he questioned.  
"I feel well, thank you." she told him.  
"I was just checking up on you, Harley said you seemed sick." he informed her.  
"No, I am fine. Thank you, again." she assured him.   
"You took your meds this morning, I see." he smiled.  
"I always take my meds, Doc, they make me not be loons. You said so yourself once." she explained.  
"Right, that's right, they do help you." his smile grew wider.   
"Thank you for looking out for me." Elodie said.  
"No problem at all." Doc answered. "I guess I'll be going - I've got patients to help."   
"Oh yes, of course. Take care!" she smiled.  
"Take care." he repeated and turned and walked down the stairs.

Elodie watched as he walked out of sight back towards the Hospital. When she could no longer see him she turned her attention back out to the fields and watched as off in the distance small specks (which were actually rather large cows) moved slowly around. After several moments the solar lamp finally clicked off for the night, casting the level in a soft blue glow instead. Elodie stood and stretched, ready to retire to her bed for the night.

'What a lovely day,' she thought, 'nice and simple.'


End file.
